


shouldn't you remember, with joshua watching

by progfox



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-21
Updated: 2012-04-21
Packaged: 2017-11-04 01:43:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/388281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/progfox/pseuds/progfox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't think I remember you but I know you? I know this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	shouldn't you remember, with joshua watching

If only there was an escape from this, Neku thinks. From what seems to be a neverending sort-of-depression and numbness and nothing. He's trapped in his own head, overthinking and overfeeling every little thing. He needs to be saved he needs to be. Something.

He's forgotten what it means to feel, he thinks, fingering a loose thread on his shirt. Not that he had a very good idea of it in the first place, mind, but now. Now it is nothing. He almost wants to cry, but wouldn't that be embarrassing with Joshua watching? And besides. Besides. Not like he knows how to cry.

Not like he knows how to do a thing, anymore.

Neku spends all his days in solitude, lying half-awake half-asleep on his bed and who is Joshua? Where did that name come from. He has never met a Joshua. But he knows. Knows.

Wouldn't that be horrid with Joshua watching?

* * *

A kiss on the lips and he's gone. He's living on his own, it seems, no one around when he is. Either his father is working or sleeping and who the hell knows where his mother's gone? Joshua knows, he thinks, but who is Joshua. Who. The fuck.

There is nothing he can do but feel everything around him and wait. Wait for him.

* * *

_I've misplaced the time and the date and the memory who are you? Who is this? ___

* * *

Neku doesn't remember he can't. Can't remember. What was he thinking of last week when he scrawled these drawings in his sketchbook? A mysterious sort of boy with a name and a face he can't recall. Oh, but isn't he beautiful? Neku wishes he could share the sight with somebody. Anybody. But even if he had a someone to share this with they would not understand. No one could feel what he does right now.

Which is to say, a pounding heart and the smell of death and just. Isn't it wonderful? Isn't he beautiful? Neku wants this beautiful boy for himself, sort of, crazy as it seems.

He sets the sketchbook aside. There's no need to lose his mind for a someone who's only in his head.

* * *

He's torn a page out from this sketchbook. He has no memory of doing this, no memory of what was there. Doesn't matter, Neku assumes, considering it's gone now and he's sure he had a reason to do this.

Still, he can't help but wonder.

* * *

_I just woke up and I can't remember a thing. I'm Neku, and that's it._

* * *

Neku doesn't look at his partner's face as he describes what happened at the end of the week. And God, doesn't he hate it, that faux-sympathy and thinly-veiled disinterest. He speaks slowly, carefully, struggling to keep his voice calm. He must not shake and he must not lose it. Not here, not now. Not yet. Not. Ever.

Because he can't cry about Shiki. Not now and especially not here, because wouldn't it be embarrassing with Joshua watching?

* * *

_I can't forgive you but I trust you? I trust you._

_I can't remember but I trust you? I trust you._

* * *

Neku is laying on his bed again and Joshua saunters in, barely making a sound. A little wave and greetings exchanged and Joshua sits beside him, a sketchbook in hand. Neku doesn't bother to stop him as he flips through the pages; nothing he can do anyway, and from what he remembers of that particular book there is nothing embarrassingly awful in there. Wouldn't that be terrible, with Joshua watching.

"Oh?" Joshua's curious voice causes Neku to sit up. The Composer turns and holds the sketchbook up to a page Neku thought had been torn out ages ago. And he doesn't even. Need to say a word.

Because Neku sees them together and he remembers, realizes, the boy wasn't just in his head.


End file.
